Commander Gilmore

Articles•by Commander Gilmore•February 1, 2005

No Hacksaws, No Dynamite, No Problem

While police scampered around the countryside looking for their lost convicts, investigators at the scene were concluding that the "explosive" that blew out the iron bars of a window and collapsed the adjacent wall wasn't an explosive at all, but rather a corrosive agent: human urine.

Articles•by Commander Gilmore•April 1, 2004

Prisoners Sing for Their Freedom

Singing prisoners, wedding gunfire, and a human piñata.

Articles•by Commander Gilmore•November 1, 2001

Now They Know How the Shopkeepers Feel

In the peaceful, crime-free democratic country of South Africa (you know, the latest "workers' paradise"), crime is so rampant that the crooks are running out of victims to rob. Recently, the government even decided to stop mailing pension checks because so many old folks were getting' koshed and robbed outside the banks where they cashed 'em.