Most cops, yourself probably included, cringe when they get a radio call that goes something like this: "One Adam Whatever, respond to the Free Clinic and evaluate a 'suspicious package.'" Those last four words, "evaluate a suspicious package," always make those little cop hairs on the back of your neck stand straight out like the quills on a porcupine being chased by a hungry dog.
The scenario always goes something like this. After parking about a block away and upwind, like they taught you in your "Responding to Critical Incidents" classes, you coax the throngs of onlookers and bystanders a good distance away from the suspect package and start gathering information. Then the survey begins. You take note of the size of the item, the shape, any unusual markings, weird stains, strange noises, or addresses. Is there any articulated threat? Is anything written on the package like "Death to the Zionist Imperialist Lapdog Capitalist Pigs of Satan with Stinky Feet"? You ask why the package is suspicious and who reported it.









