I have always been touched by certain images, sounds, and words, and the older I get the more things trigger my emotional reflexes. At the same time I find I am less and less embarrassed by my tears. I used to hide them from others, especially my kids; trying to keep the image of the macho crimefighter intact. Yet now I know the tears are not from weakness but from respect, from the heart.
I was working out at a gym once while I was running physical training at the academy when I saw a badly crippled young man in a wheelchair come into the gym with an older woman. I watched as he fought his way out of the chair and began working out on one machine after the other. Each repetition took his total concentration and effort. Finally, I introduced myself to the two and learned he was a victim of his own drinking and driving years ago and now made his living speaking to groups of youth everywhere about the foolishness and danger of drunk driving. His mom was there to drive him to and from the gym and speak encouragement, as it hurt so much to work out. But he did it sthree times a week.
I told him I wished I could show my cadets a video of him working out so they could know the nature of courage and strength. The last few words were hard to get out with that stupid lump acting like a nasty speed bump to my words. I didn't try to stop the tears; I couldn't stop them, wouldn't stop them, because I knew what a gift this young man had given me by letting me watch his day-to-day struggle in the microcosm of that gym. I began telling each class of my cadets about this young man so they could have a standard for their own effort, their own courage.
Too often we think of tears as self-pitying, and some are, but often they are a mark of our deepest respect, love, and concern.
A recent Internet video that showed soldiers surprising their loved ones by coming back from overseas unexpectedly had one thing in common, the tears.