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Every time someone tries to kick our butts and we have him fully subdued and cuffed and searched we should look deeply into his eyes and say, "Thanks, I needed that!"
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To the experts, this naked fellow was shot excessively at close range even after he had raised his legs in surrender…that's right, his legs.
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An elderly woman passed us rather crisply and we were aghast to read the back of her shirt: "I'm 65 and a grandmother, but I'm ahead of YOU!"
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I could shoot a pistol with either hand…while normal Southpaws and Righties had spent their lives neglecting their sad hand on the other side of the brain.
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One of the strangest things we do in our crime fighting career is play a strange game I like to call, "You Bet Your Badge." Having the thrill of that badge being pinned to your chest instantly enters you in the game where things you do and say can cause that wonderfully important piece of metal to be removed.
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Procrastinating can take a terrible toll on us if we let it get out of hand. And a lot of officers do.
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No matter how many folks give input, often directions make no sense at all and only through the sheer fact we have actually observed another doing or using the directed item can we possibly succeed.
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You must always speak of the good, for if you turn your words to the Darkside and you use "The Power of Negative Annoyance" you will soon discover the phenomenon of "Career Setback."
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You may not have any reservations about playing a joke, and the target may not have any objections to being the butt of it, but beware that seemingly ubiquitous third party complainant.
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The really great thing about a career in law enforcement is all the exciting and wonderful experiences we get to have. Using Oscar Wilde's definition of "experience" as the name we give our mistakes, I have had a lot of "experiences."
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