There's nothing that warms the cockles of my heart like a
chronologically paced and descriptive police report
. Trust me, after years of reading these, the good ones stand out. I mention chronologically written report for a reason. A classic rookie mistake is to write the cool stuff first, because it's exciting. The report must reveal the sequence of events as it revealed itself to you and how you positioned your response to this great arrest.
Descriptive writing is a lost art. When I was in the military, there was a basic way to describe anything — M1 widget, hand-held, air-cooled, OD green in color. Some of the best report writers seek balance between excellent descriptive language and novelistic writing.
However, I had one report of where a young officer took literary license a tad too far. He changed his title and role in the report along with the citizen's role, which raised the question of how many people were involved in the incident.
He referred to the dispatched officer, the primary officer, the investigating officer, the reporting officer, the arresting officer, the transporting officer, and the booking officer. And the citizen became the complainant, the alleged victim, the suspect, the person of interest, the perpetrator, the detainee, the arrestee, and then the transported prisoner. Whew!
As I read the report of a false report of a crime I kept counting the number of persons in this report. There were two, one bad guy and one copper with far too much time on their hands.