But if there is a singular virtue of embarrassment, it is that it dissuades all save for the most ardent masochist from wanting to repeat its experience.
The following morning I was up before sunrise, locking myself in my vault and breaking down the Beretta. As I became more and more familiar with its components, I also became acutely aware of how stupid I'd been in my apprehension of the sidearm. It wasn't all that exotic, after all. After I spent some time practicing reloads, stovepipe drills, and the like with dummy rounds, I had a friend come over and coach me on all the little implements that would constitute an ideal firearms maintenance kit.
Some Internet snooping proved valuable, as well, as I found all manner of drills and information that helped remediate my deficiencies. After years of dodging the bullet, I finally became comfortable with it.
Now, some will reasonably ask why the hell I would want to admit to such stupidity. Well, how's this for a reason: Because I wasn't the only one out there that day faking my way through firearms training.
I suspect similar horror stories are to be found in abundance from others running gun ranges and conducting firearms training courses. And I know I won't be the last to delude themselves that their compensatory talents of martial arts, wit, intelligence, physical stamina, good looks, etc., will save their ass when the shit hits the fan. But I'm hoping that someone out there is reading these words and maybe recognizing themselves a little bit, and that they decide to clean up their act before they become the next discovery on the firing line.