Police Magazine Logo
MenuMENU
SearchSEARCH

The Things We Dread

Honestly, we have a lot of things in life that are like physicals: We don't enjoy them but we need to do them. For the crime fighter the list includes things like depositions, evaluations, and death notifications.

August 1, 2008
The Things We Dread

 

3 min to read


Well, I just had my annual physical. I have reached that age where they check for just about everything but dementia, and my wife, the Sergeant, is wondering why they don't?

As I walked out of the office the nurse said a nice goodbye but I thought I saw a bit of a twinkle of humor in her eyes…sort of a "Well someone doesn't look so cocky now" kind of look, but that could have been my imagination.

Ad Loading...

Physicals are one of those things both men and women dread. But, except for that odd sense of violation we all get, we always feel tons better afterward as long as our chronic illnesses have stayed where they are.

In fact, President Eisenhower said the key to a long life was to get a chronic disease and treat it. If true, I should live a long time.

My message here is that each of you should be sure to get your physicals every year. I say that because it makes me sound wise and caring, but the truth is that misery loves company and if I have to get a physical you should have to too.

Honestly, we have a lot of things in life that are like physicals: We don't enjoy them but we need to do them. For the crime fighter the list includes things like depositions, evaluations, and death notifications. Each profession has a similar list of dreaded tasks that have to be performed. It just happens that some of the ones that we have to do are really tough.

I'll never forget my first death notification. In the academy they told us to contact the subject of the notification, verify their identification, and then ask them if they had anyone they could call to come over and call them. Then make sure they were the father, mother, son, whatever of the deceased and give them the news. This struck me as a little bit circuitous so I asked my dad, a physician and surgeon, how he gave bad news to patients or their family.

Ad Loading...

"Look" he said, "most people know it's damn serious if the person bringing you information is a doctor or a cop, and the only way to give it to them is straight and right away. Don't ask about calling someone or moving them around, just ask them if they are the right party and give them the news. The most important thing is what YOU do after you deliver the message. Never shoot from the lip then leave. Stay and show you give a damn!"

Dad had started his medical path in life as a Corpsman in the Navy and his time with the Marines in Korea had given him a rather salty vocabulary that he still exercises regularly.

My first death notification was to an elderly widow whose son had been killed in an accident back East. I remember thinking about what my Dad had said as I sat next to her holding her hand as she wept and waited for her minister to come over. It was hard to do, but it had to be done. I had chosen the other profession besides my father's that was consistently chosen to deliver these messages and his advice had served me well. She thanked me over and over as I left and she still clung to my hand.

There are always going to be tasks that we dread in our profession. Whether you have a death notification assigned to you today or a physical coming up next week, I guess the important thing to do is face them as unique little challenges in life. These are not the great confrontations and adventures that make life in law enforcement so exciting, but they are part of our profession. We should face them without hesitation and, in the case of helping others, we should take that special time to risk caring.

Subscribe to our newsletter

More Patrol

POLICE Topics, Tactics & Tips video series graphic featuring a Garmont Tactical Contact Collection duty boot against a police vehicle with flashing lights. Includes “Watch Now” callout for the video series.
Patrolby Wayne ParhamJuly 9, 2026

Garmont Tactical Contact Collection: New Duty Boots for Law Enforcement

Choosing the right duty boot can make a significant difference during long shifts. In this video overview, Kyle Ferdyn, of Garmont Tactical, introduces the new Contact Collection, designed specifically for law enforcement professionals seeking comfort, traction, and durability.

Read More →
Benchmade Bailout folding knife with a bronze tanto blade, taiga green handle, and orange accents displayed open against a textured black background, highlighting its lightweight tactical design.
PatrolJuly 9, 2026

Benchmade Launches Taiga Green Bailout

Benchmade has launched its Taiga Green Bailout, which features an anodized aluminum handle, S90V stainless steel, and Burnt Copper hardware accents.

Read More →
Composite image of ADEPT's Nova Titanium tactical helmet, showing front and side views alongside a soldier wearing the helmet in the field, highlighting lightweight ballistic protection for military and tactical applications.
PatrolJuly 9, 2026

Adept Armor Launches the Nova Titanium Combat Helmet: A Metal Ballistic Helmet at Composite-Helmet Weight

Adept Armor said its new Nova Titanium combat helmet delivers rated 9mm protection at 920 grams all-in, low backface deformation, edge-to-edge coverage, and an indefinite shelf life at roughly a quarter the price of premium polyethylene helmets.

Read More →
Ad Loading...
Two healthcare professionals model 5.11 medical scrubs—one in gray and one in blue—against a blurred hospital background, highlighting the brand’s professional apparel for medical workers.
PatrolJuly 2, 2026

5.11 Expands Professional Services Line with Premium, Performance-Driven Scrubs Designed for Healthcare Professionals

The launch of high-performance medical scrubs marks another major expansion of 5.11’s growing Professional Services category, enabling hospitals and healthcare systems to outfit a wide range of roles.

Read More →
Close-up of a black SOG Seal FX knife featuring a commemorative 250th anniversary engraving on the blade, displayed on an American flag to honor the United States' semiquincentennial.
PatrolJuly 2, 2026

SOG Knives Unveils 250th Anniversary Limited Edition Fixed Blade

SOG Knives has debuted its 250th Anniversary Limited Edition SEAL FX Fixed Blade, and only 250 are available. It features an advanced 4.3-inch S35VN steel blade and a tough glass-reinforced nylon handle.

Read More →
Close-up of a slim black Streamlight Wedge SL flashlight resting on an olive tactical vest with a black-and-gray American flag patch, its LED illuminated to showcase the compact everyday carry design.
Patrolby Wayne ParhamJune 25, 2026

POLICE Product Test: Streamlight Wedge SL

The Streamlight Wedge SL is a high-performance light for inspection or administrative tasks that features USB-C charging and an output up to 500 lumens in a compact package.

Read More →
Ad Loading...
Graphic recognizing Officer Michael Jaycox of the San Jose (CA) Police Department as Officer of the Month for May 2026, featuring his uniformed portrait beside a badge-and-rose emblem.
PatrolJune 25, 2026

NLEOMF Officer of the Month Saved Child from Burning Vehicle

The National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund named Officer Michael Jaycox of the San Jose Police Department (California) as the Officer of the Month for May 2026. Read more about Jaycox’s heroic actions.

Read More →
Promotional image for Garmont Tactical’s Contact Collection featuring black tactical boots displayed in front of a police vehicle with flashing red and blue emergency lights. Text announces the new collection and notes it is now available.
PatrolJune 24, 2026

Garmont Tactical Introduces the Contact Collection for LE

Garmont Tactical has launched its Contact Collection, a new lineup of law-enforcement duty boots featuring 4-inch and 6-inch options, including waterproof models.

Read More →
Graphic celebrating 1,613 Folds of Honor graduates, featuring graduation books, a diploma, a mortarboard cap, the Folds of Honor logo, and an inset photo of a graduate standing in front of a campus building.
PatrolJune 11, 2026

Folds of Honor Celebrates Graduation Season as 1,613 Military and First Responder Family Scholars Earn Their Degrees

Every Folds of Honor scholar graduating in the Class of 2026 carries a story starting with sacrifice. Folds of Honor ensures it doesn’t end there. Since 2007, Folds of Honor has awarded nearly 73,000 educational scholarships to military and first responder families.

Read More →
Ad Loading...
Graphic for a POLICE Magazine article on Tennessee’s new deadly force law, featuring Lady Justice, handcuffs, a Tennessee map with Nashville highlighted, and the headline “Impact of New Deadly Force Law.”
Patrolby David StephensJune 4, 2026

Why Tennessee’s New Deadly Force Law Matters Beyond Tennessee

Tennessee’s new deadly force law is more limited than many may realize. Effective July 1, 2026, the law applies to a person who is not engaged in conduct that would constitute a felony or a Class A misdemeanor and who is in a place where the person lawfully resides. But it could have far-reaching influence.

Read More →