Police Magazine Logo
MenuMENU
SearchSEARCH

Fire Nobody!

Here is the conundrum: When bad things happen it appears Officer Nobody has failed again to do what needs to be done, and when things turn out good, Dep. Somebody is taking all the credit. Something needs to be done.

August 4, 2013
Fire Nobody!

Illustration by Sequoia Blankenship.

4 min to read


I have finally had it with Nobody. I know that sounds harsh, but I simply can't take it anymore. Nobody has got to go. Gentle crime fighting readers I know you think me a very tolerant and low-key fellow, but Nobody has managed to get my goat, not to mention the rest of my barnyard.

"What happened?" you ask. Well, I was just working on my PowerPoint and checking the links to my videos and I played a classic video of a suspect in custody that had shot and critically wounded a deputy, had been arrested by a local agency then transported by two different transport units. Once at the jail, the only one armed in the interrogation room turned out to be the suspect. After several taboo words, one investigator turns to the other and says, "Nobody shook him." Nobody again? 

Ad Loading...

This Nobody guy is one worthless cop and I think it is time we dumped him. Time and again I read an officer killed or injured summary and there he is.  Nobody backed her up; Nobody checked the attic; Nobody put out flares; Nobody cuffed the suspect; and on and on. That darn Nobody has got to go. So often in critical situations, Nobody does the things we know are basic officer safety steps. If he can't handle the job, it is time to assign Somebody. Somebody seems a lot more competent, and often I hear how Somebody jumped in and took control during the confrontation or Somebody was able to get the road closed before an officer got hurt.

The only problem I have is when I call an agency or department where Somebody has done a great job I find it is a mistake. Invariably Somebody got the credit when, in reality, an Officer Johnson, or a Deputy Elmwood, or a Trooper Jackson actually did the good deed and saved the day.

So here is the conundrum: When bad things happen it appears Officer Nobody has failed again to do what needs to be done, and when things turn out good, Dep. Somebody is taking all the credit. Something needs to be done.

Sure, I know exactly what you are thinking: "I think it is the sergeant's job to make sure things don't end up being assigned to Nobody." That is exactly the kind of thinking that gets Nobody involved and everyone hoping Somebody saves the day. You cannot put your safety and well-being in the hands of others, not even your Sergeant.

In psychological terms, this is called "locus of control," the way you view your control over your life and destiny. Do you put the center of control for your life in the hands of others? Is it the sergeant's job to keep you safe or Officer Somebody's job to swing by and check on one of your squad mates during a traffic stop, but not yours? That's exactly how Officer Nobody got the assignment; you were expecting Somebody, just not you, to do it.

Ad Loading...

I don't care if you are a rookie or 30-year veteran, it isn't Somebody's job to take care of you, to make sure your fellow warriors have backup, to search your prisoner effectively, it is yours! That is how we get rid of Nobody. We take care of ourselves and our brothers and sisters. We don't expect Somebody to do it: We do it. We think about the risks and balance them: slicing the pie on searches, always aware on a traffic stop, maintaining our fitness and all the other tasks so essential for effective and safe law enforcement. It is not Somebody's job, it is your job.

Ah, but now you are thinking, "Good points but there is one more person out there who should be responsible for safety. Everybody" 

"Touché!" Except I find when Everybody takes an assignment, Nobody ends up doing it. So now we have gone full circle. That worthless Nobody ends up assigned to the most critical elements of our safety.

So here it is: Officers Nobody, Somebody, and Everybody are truly not responsible for our safety or the safety of others, each of us is. And when we put that responsibility right in the center of our spirit, our locus of control, we find we are not only safer but happier.

Dave Smith is an internationally recognized law enforcement trainer and is the creator of "JD Buck Savage." You can follow Buck on Twitter at @thebucksavage.

Subscribe to our newsletter

More Patrol

POLICE Topics, Tactics & Tips video series graphic featuring a Garmont Tactical Contact Collection duty boot against a police vehicle with flashing lights. Includes “Watch Now” callout for the video series.
Patrolby Wayne ParhamJuly 9, 2026

Garmont Tactical Contact Collection: New Duty Boots for Law Enforcement

Choosing the right duty boot can make a significant difference during long shifts. In this video overview, Kyle Ferdyn, of Garmont Tactical, introduces the new Contact Collection, designed specifically for law enforcement professionals seeking comfort, traction, and durability.

Read More →
Benchmade Bailout folding knife with a bronze tanto blade, taiga green handle, and orange accents displayed open against a textured black background, highlighting its lightweight tactical design.
PatrolJuly 9, 2026

Benchmade Launches Taiga Green Bailout

Benchmade has launched its Taiga Green Bailout, which features an anodized aluminum handle, S90V stainless steel, and Burnt Copper hardware accents.

Read More →
Composite image of ADEPT's Nova Titanium tactical helmet, showing front and side views alongside a soldier wearing the helmet in the field, highlighting lightweight ballistic protection for military and tactical applications.
PatrolJuly 9, 2026

Adept Armor Launches the Nova Titanium Combat Helmet: A Metal Ballistic Helmet at Composite-Helmet Weight

Adept Armor said its new Nova Titanium combat helmet delivers rated 9mm protection at 920 grams all-in, low backface deformation, edge-to-edge coverage, and an indefinite shelf life at roughly a quarter the price of premium polyethylene helmets.

Read More →
Ad Loading...
Two healthcare professionals model 5.11 medical scrubs—one in gray and one in blue—against a blurred hospital background, highlighting the brand’s professional apparel for medical workers.
PatrolJuly 2, 2026

5.11 Expands Professional Services Line with Premium, Performance-Driven Scrubs Designed for Healthcare Professionals

The launch of high-performance medical scrubs marks another major expansion of 5.11’s growing Professional Services category, enabling hospitals and healthcare systems to outfit a wide range of roles.

Read More →
Close-up of a black SOG Seal FX knife featuring a commemorative 250th anniversary engraving on the blade, displayed on an American flag to honor the United States' semiquincentennial.
PatrolJuly 2, 2026

SOG Knives Unveils 250th Anniversary Limited Edition Fixed Blade

SOG Knives has debuted its 250th Anniversary Limited Edition SEAL FX Fixed Blade, and only 250 are available. It features an advanced 4.3-inch S35VN steel blade and a tough glass-reinforced nylon handle.

Read More →
Close-up of a slim black Streamlight Wedge SL flashlight resting on an olive tactical vest with a black-and-gray American flag patch, its LED illuminated to showcase the compact everyday carry design.
Patrolby Wayne ParhamJune 25, 2026

POLICE Product Test: Streamlight Wedge SL

The Streamlight Wedge SL is a high-performance light for inspection or administrative tasks that features USB-C charging and an output up to 500 lumens in a compact package.

Read More →
Ad Loading...
Graphic recognizing Officer Michael Jaycox of the San Jose (CA) Police Department as Officer of the Month for May 2026, featuring his uniformed portrait beside a badge-and-rose emblem.
PatrolJune 25, 2026

NLEOMF Officer of the Month Saved Child from Burning Vehicle

The National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund named Officer Michael Jaycox of the San Jose Police Department (California) as the Officer of the Month for May 2026. Read more about Jaycox’s heroic actions.

Read More →
Promotional image for Garmont Tactical’s Contact Collection featuring black tactical boots displayed in front of a police vehicle with flashing red and blue emergency lights. Text announces the new collection and notes it is now available.
PatrolJune 24, 2026

Garmont Tactical Introduces the Contact Collection for LE

Garmont Tactical has launched its Contact Collection, a new lineup of law-enforcement duty boots featuring 4-inch and 6-inch options, including waterproof models.

Read More →
Graphic celebrating 1,613 Folds of Honor graduates, featuring graduation books, a diploma, a mortarboard cap, the Folds of Honor logo, and an inset photo of a graduate standing in front of a campus building.
PatrolJune 11, 2026

Folds of Honor Celebrates Graduation Season as 1,613 Military and First Responder Family Scholars Earn Their Degrees

Every Folds of Honor scholar graduating in the Class of 2026 carries a story starting with sacrifice. Folds of Honor ensures it doesn’t end there. Since 2007, Folds of Honor has awarded nearly 73,000 educational scholarships to military and first responder families.

Read More →
Ad Loading...
Graphic for a POLICE Magazine article on Tennessee’s new deadly force law, featuring Lady Justice, handcuffs, a Tennessee map with Nashville highlighted, and the headline “Impact of New Deadly Force Law.”
Patrolby David StephensJune 4, 2026

Why Tennessee’s New Deadly Force Law Matters Beyond Tennessee

Tennessee’s new deadly force law is more limited than many may realize. Effective July 1, 2026, the law applies to a person who is not engaged in conduct that would constitute a felony or a Class A misdemeanor and who is in a place where the person lawfully resides. But it could have far-reaching influence.

Read More →