He offers you a cigarette, and you can't refuse. You puff and pass around your gateway drug, tobacco. Remember, cigarettes are illegal for you at this age. In a few minutes you taste beer for the first time. It tastes terrible, but you pretend to like it. They are nice to you and you joke and smoke for a few minutes and say good-bye.
For several weeks in a row you wind up running into Big Flaco and the Homeboys and hanging out. Once you even went to a garage party with them at "Bubbles" the Chola's house and danced with the home girls. At school the other kids respect and fear you. You never have to fight the Giant anymore. He now runs away at the sight of your crew.
Point of No Return
But one day you show up at the park speaking the language, "Quvo Big Flaco, whazup!" Flaco gives you a cold stare and silence. You say, "Say homie, its me, Jack, don't you know me? I'm the one who fought the Giant and smoked and joked and danced with Bubbles the home girl." Flaco says, "Do I know you? You smoked my frajos, drank my beer, and danced with my girl. are you my homeboy? Are you from my varrio? Are you in? …or are you out?
If you should reply, "I would like to defer enlistment in your fine organization until I complete my education," what will happen? However, if you say, "Yes I wish to join your gang," what will happen? Either way you are in for a beating. One beating is because they like you, and one is because they don't. So you choose the friendly beating. You are now a gang member. There is no associate gang member, peripheral gang member, or "want to be" gang member status. You are a full-fledged gang member once you are jumped in. The only way to undo this is to pass through the "jump out" ritual, and few could endure that.