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Don't Let The Little Head Think for You

Sadly, I’ve seen the pursuit of casual sex get more cops in trouble than perhaps anything else. It’s not just the cops’ fault either. It takes two to tango, after all. But it is the cop who most frequently has something to lose in the equation, and often does.

August 1, 2008

It's been said that few men in few professions get more female attention than law enforcement officers.

I'd been warned—or more or less promised—as much before I was hired. And I found it to be true the first time an informant tapped on my notepad to call my attention to the personal information she'd imparted to me and said, "Call me."

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Sadly, I've seen the pursuit of casual sex get more cops in trouble than perhaps anything else. It's not just the cops' fault either. It takes two to tango, after all. But it is the cop who most frequently has something to lose in the equation, and often does.

I'm not saying that officers shouldn't have fun. All I'm saying is that we need to be aware of the land mines in that territory. The effect that a casual liaison has on our careers and our personal lives, comes down to how and when we act on such opportunities and how instrumental we are in orchestrating them.

All manner of cops get in trouble for failing to keep their pants on. They get in hot water for going back to locations to console victims of domestic violence. They get fired and sometimes even prosecuted for mentoring explorers on matters well outside the scope of the profession. And they get caught doing the nasty in their squad cars.

Many a cop has paid an exorbitant price for such an indiscretion, if not for the act itself, then for lying about it. One of the few things I didn't hold against Bill Clinton was his lying to the country about his adulterous activities: Any man who has to lie to his wife has pretty much obligated himself to lie to everyone else thereafter.

The bottom line here is that your sins may find you out. GPS tracking, date/time stamped cameras, and all manner of other technology, can refute a complainant's allegations. But it can also corroborate them. So be smart.

And be aware that your position and your authority may be more attractive to your potential conquests than your winning smile and athletic physique. Studies have shown that an adrenaline rush can intensify emotional bonds between people. This is why some experts think many women like "dangerous" men.

To the eyes of many women, cops hold the promise of omnipresent danger. To others, cops are knights in shining armor, Prince Galahad, father confessor, protector, and Svengali all rolled into one.

Whatever the reason that law enforcement officers are deemed to be so sexually attractive for the fairer sex, the fact remains that we have historically not lacked for attention. We have even coined our own names for the women who pursue us: "badge bunnies," "street wives," "cop groupies," and the like.

You have power. And that is an aphrodisiac. No less than disgraced former Orange County (Calif.) Sheriff Michael Carona reflected in tapes made by FBI informants that one of the perks of being sheriff was getting some "phenomenal [sex] along the way."

As Carona further reflects upon the demise of his career, his freedom, and most likely his marriage, perhaps he will recall that aphorism regarding divorce: It's the screwing you get for the screwing you got.

Guys, think with your big head, not your little one.

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