For coaches, giving a massage for sore muscles that is healing, appropriate and in public can be OK but not if it moves to a more sexualized touch.[PAGEBREAK]
CS: Is a hug appropriate?
Anderson: I'm on the side that part of the problem is we have a lot of touch-starved children, and the no-touch policies in reaction are never what we wanted. We know that children need appropriate and caring touch. If they are deprived of that, they are far more vulnerable to this kind of manipulation. When children are craving emotional and physical attention, there are
very appropriate ways to do that
, and it's about meeting the child's needs, not the adult's.
I could be hugging somebody, and they could say 'I'm not comfortable with that,' and it's important for me to say 'OK, I heard that,' and I stop. A child can say 'I'm no longer comfortable with this behavior' if it pushes their boundaries and especially if the behavior moves from appropriate to inappropriate for them.
We also need to understand that [asking someone to stop a behavior] is not easy because the person [who is being sexually inappropriate] is pretty skilled at manipulation and often has power and authority over the child.