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Search Result: Stupid Criminals

Displaying 141  -  158  of  158

All Wrapped Up

August 1, 2005

A hapless crook sorta brought his own handcuffs—and manacles, ankle-irons, and hood, though he didn’t mean to. Officers responding to a report of a home-invasion robbery in Georgetown, Guyana, arrived looking for two scumbag suspects. But all they saw was a merry mob of neighborhood residents dancing around a utility pole.

Mile-a-Minute Mountie

June 1, 2005

When your constables can run at 50 kilometers per hour and catch speeding cars on foot, how does a lawbreaker stand a chance? That’s what was sluggishly percolating through Robert DuPort’s mind, we suspect, when he was arrested for driving under the influence.

Cops Caught Off Guard

April 1, 2005

We've gotta believe that 46 Brazilian police officers now own the world's record for the most embarrassing cop moment in history. Nearly 50 officers from the state of Paraiba were on a bus heading for a big athletic competition in the city of Salvador when four armed dudes blocked the road and announced a holdup. None of the cops had brought their guns.

Bulletproof Potion Fails Test Trials...Tragedy Ensues

December 1, 2004

Not-so-bulletproof potions, illiterate crooks, and family drug squabbles.

The Big Score

November 1, 2004

That's when I showed them one of the jugs. It was labeled in Latin "aqua distillas." That's right: Vernon and James had scored big with several brown glass jugs of distilled water.

Too Much Technology

October 1, 2004

Ineffective security, useless gun play, and bad hair days.

Student Issues Fake Parking Tickets, Collects 'Fines'

September 23, 2004
A college student in Madison, Wis., is accused of placing fake parking tickets on cars parked near his fraternity and taking the money for them.

Nice Try, But Not Good Enough

June 1, 2004

Transported signs, disappearing phones, and possessed appliances.

A Very Bad Choice

May 1, 2004

Perhaps these dummies had their eyes on one of the stolen cars we'd recovered parked in front of the precinct and figured they'd change the plates and drive off. Then again, these guys weren't deep thinkers and I'd probably be giving them too much credit for thinking that far ahead.

Butt Identity

February 1, 2004

Cops often have their work cut out for them.

Camel Jam

December 1, 2003

Some countries' cops have to deal with unique problems.

Animals Can Get Crooks Into All Sorts of Trouble

August 1, 2003

It's official in Australia now.  When a police K-9 nuzzles your crotch, it's purely social.

Sweet Talk and Handcuffs

June 1, 2003

Wily cops don’t need much to outsmart some crooks.

How Smart Could He Be?

May 1, 2003

"Listen, man! Give yourself up! It's no good! There're a thousand cops out here!" he yelled toward the building in exasperation.

The Hot Prowl

March 1, 2003

One of the first things a rookie cop learns is not to ignore a citizen’s report,
no matter how weird.

Real Murder Victims are Bad Enough

December 1, 2002

Another lifeless female body, this time dressed differently, different hair color, complexion, and shoes. Munich PD rolled, with teeth clenched.

Stoopid Crooks

December 1, 2001

Hey! We're the Bad Guys! Over Here!

Too Stupid to Make it as a Stupid Crook

October 1, 2001

Isn't it funny how one little detail can trip up an idiot in the middle of a holdup?

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