Search Result: Stupid Criminals

The thing about being a good burglar is that you have to know when to move and when to stay still. One of the really bad times to move is when a K-9 officer is using the pay phone in front of the building you are burgling.

A hapless crook sorta brought his own handcuffs—and manacles, ankle-irons, and hood, though he didn’t mean to. Officers responding to a report of a home-invasion robbery in Georgetown, Guyana, arrived looking for two scumbag suspects. But all they saw was a merry mob of neighborhood residents dancing around a utility pole.

When your constables can run at 50 kilometers per hour and catch speeding cars on foot, how does a lawbreaker stand a chance? That’s what was sluggishly percolating through Robert DuPort’s mind, we suspect, when he was arrested for driving under the influence.

We've gotta believe that 46 Brazilian police officers now own the world's record for the most embarrassing cop moment in history. Nearly 50 officers from the state of Paraiba were on a bus heading for a big athletic competition in the city of Salvador when four armed dudes blocked the road and announced a holdup. None of the cops had brought their guns.

Not-so-bulletproof potions, illiterate crooks, and family drug squabbles.

That's when I showed them one of the jugs. It was labeled in Latin "aqua distillas." That's right: Vernon and James had scored big with several brown glass jugs of distilled water.

Ineffective security, useless gun play, and bad hair days.

Transported signs, disappearing phones, and possessed appliances.

Perhaps these dummies had their eyes on one of the stolen cars we'd recovered parked in front of the precinct and figured they'd change the plates and drive off. Then again, these guys weren't deep thinkers and I'd probably be giving them too much credit for thinking that far ahead.

Cops often have their work cut out for them.

Some countries' cops have to deal with unique problems.

It's official in Australia now.  When a police K-9 nuzzles your crotch, it's purely social.

Wily cops don’t need much to outsmart some crooks.