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Search Result: Police Humor

Displaying 61  -  80  of  93

Not Your Average Drunk

January 5, 2010

Something wasn't right. The apparent drunk hadn't felt right, smelled right, or acted right.

Wisconsin Cops Celebrate 12 Days of Christmas

December 29, 2009
To celebrate the holidays, the Kenosha (Wisc.) Police Department produced a humorous version of popular carol "The Twelve Days of Christmas." Also, view the department's "Monster Mash" Halloween video.

The Stupid Factor

December 10, 2009

I especially love the folks who are not only stupid but self-righteously stupid, which ought to have its own special term like "extremepidity."

When This Guy Says He Wants Someone Decisive, Believe Him

December 8, 2009
"I thank God my partner had the balls to do what he had to do," he said. "I'd rather he take [the shot at me] than hesitate and get me or both of us killed. He's my partner, and any guys that are Monday morning quarterbacking the guy can kiss my ass."

A Vision of the Apocalypse

November 30, 2009

I was driving into town to get ready for a late swing shift and found myself admiring the massive towering anvil-headed clouds bearing down.

Bad Habits

October 14, 2009

Every time someone tries to kick our butts and we have him fully subdued and cuffed and searched we should look deeply into his eyes and say, "Thanks, I needed that!"

My Life as an Expert

June 1, 2009

To the experts, this naked fellow was shot excessively at close range even after he had raised his legs in surrender…that's right, his legs.

The Marathon

May 1, 2009

An elderly woman passed us rather crisply and we were aghast to read the back of her shirt: "I'm 65 and a grandmother, but I'm ahead of YOU!"

Embracing My Sinister Side

April 1, 2009

I could shoot a pistol with either hand…while normal Southpaws and Righties had spent their lives neglecting their sad hand on the other side of the brain.

You Bet Your Badge

March 1, 2009

One of the strangest things we do in our crime fighting career is play a strange game I like to call, "You Bet Your Badge." Having the thrill of that badge being pinned to your chest instantly enters you in the game where things you do and say can cause that wonderfully important piece of metal to be removed.

To Delay is Human

February 1, 2009

Procrastinating can take a terrible toll on us if we let it get out of hand. And a lot of officers do.

The Long Road to Utah

December 1, 2008

No matter how many folks give input, often directions make no sense at all and only through the sheer fact we have actually observed another doing or using the directed item can we possibly succeed.

The Quest for Organizational Change

September 1, 2008

You must always speak of the good, for if you turn your words to the Darkside and you use "The Power of Negative Annoyance" you will soon discover the phenomenon of "Career Setback."

Dumb Things Cops Do to Themselves and One Another for Laughs

May 2, 2008
You may not have any reservations about playing a joke, and the target may not have any objections to being the butt of it, but beware that seemingly ubiquitous third party complainant.

Going the Wrong Way

March 1, 2008

The really great thing about a career in law enforcement is all the exciting and wonderful experiences we get to have. Using Oscar Wilde's definition of "experience" as the name we give our mistakes, I have had a lot of "experiences."

You Are What You Sleep

December 1, 2006

I will never forget the first time I heard myself snore. Yeah, I snore pretty good; just ask one of my ex’s or one of my sergeants. But I actually was so tired once my own snoring woke me up! I was working on the Coconino Hotshots fighting a forest fire near Prescott, Ariz., when our squad leader called a break. I just sat where I was on the line and, the next thing I knew, loud snoring awoke me. I looked around and I was the only one within earshot…weird.

Generation What?

October 1, 2006

OK, I confess. I used to teach how to train the "new generation." You older cops know who I’m talking about: frankly, the generation not as good as ours.

Climate Control

September 1, 2006

Mailmen have nothing on cops when it comes to working in sleet and rain and blinding heat.

A Maslow Moment

February 1, 2006

Bitching may be humanity's greatest need. It's certainly high on the list for cops.

The Last Laugh

November 1, 2005

February in New York City can bring plenty of snow if the conditions are right. This particular day in February the forecast was for snow accumulations of eight to 10 inches before midnight. My brother, Det. Henry McDevitt, worked in the Four-Eight precinct in the Bronx.

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