FREE e-Newsletter
Important News - Hot Topics
Get them Now!

Departments : It's a Jungle Out There

Crocodile Wrestling

October 01, 2003  |  by Commander Gilmore


Crocodile Wrestling

About a half-dozen unnamed Italian cops bravely pounced on a six-foot crocodile. They were scared stiff of being eaten, but even more afraid of the danger it could pose to the public if it got away. They all survived, thanks largely to the fact that the crocodile, although real, was stuffed.

"Which is a good thing," one of the officers told a reporter. "Because we still don't have a crocodile rapid-reaction unit."

The Carabinieri first dismissed the report of a croc sunning itself on Tiberina Island, in the Tiber River in the heart of Rome, thinking it was a hoax. Then more calls came. They sent a unit, and there he was, more than 6 feet plus of lumpy green muscle, with his enormous jaws jacked open and waiting.

Creeping up very carefully, they bounced a couple of rocks off the croc, and he didn't move. But then they were told by a naturalist that lack of reaction to things like that by a croc do not mean he's asleep, dead, or anything else. Oh, that must have been comforting. Then they learned that unless a rifle round struck the croc perfectly, he could simply swim away, wounded, irritable, and even more dangerous.

Dividing themselves up into teams-like, you two get the jaws, you get the right front leg-they jumped Toothy, probably squeezing his stuffing flat and giving themselves hernias, and after several extremely tense seconds, determined that he was an ex-snapper.

They're still looking for the joker who planted Toothy on Tiberina, presumably to explain how un-funny it was.

Dr. Frankenstein's Legend

Police around the famous-or infamous-Frankenstein Castle, near Darmstadt, Germany, have to put up with more than their fair share of weirdo monster worshipers and "horror tourists," so they try very hard to downplay the castle's reputation. That gets hard to do when naked, headless corpses turn up nearby.

The body of a nude male, missing his head, among other things, recently set off a new wave of controversy and sensationalism centered on the medieval castle.

Mary Shelley's 1818 novel "Frankenstein" is labeled "fiction," but the real Johann Konrad Dippel von Frankenstein was born there in 1673, and was known far and wide as an eccentric alchemist with an interest in artificial life and a tendency to play with detached body parts. His mysterious death in 1734 was rumored to have occurred at the hands of one of his "assembled critters," and the stage was set for a great story.

In the wake of this latest discovery, officers are keeping tight lips, only suggesting that any connection between the headless body and Frankenstein is "absurd." So far, no torch-bearing crowds have been reported down in the village, although it would certainly be a great boost for tourism.

Hashish Sushi

There's a bunch of Spanish cops in the port city of Algeciras who've most likely lost their taste for calamari. They've probably seen, felt, and waded through enough of that stuff to last 'em a lifetime.

In July's record-breaking heat, they spent their days prying an estimated 25 tons of hashish out of a huge freighter-load of rapidly defrosting frozen squid. Somehow, we don't think the honor of being in on a record hash haul made up for the squish-and-stink factor of the experience.

Tags: Odd Crimes, Police Humor


Be the first to comment on this story





POLICE Magazine does not tolerate comments that include profanity, personal attacks or antisocial behavior (such as "spamming" or "trolling"). This and other inappropriate content or material will be removed. We reserve the right to block any user who violates this, including removing all content posted by that user.

Other Recent Stories

Estate Planning: What Will You Do?
You have a "go-bag" for the rare active shooter and even visualize racing down a school...
What Records Wants You to Know
The end of your report is merely the start of a process that involves many gatekeepers....
Glove-Mounted Light: Handy Lighting
It's difficult to perform other tasks when you're holding a light. Officer Suresh Madhavan...
The 5 Biggest Search-and-Seizure Myths
Ever since the U.S. Supreme Court made the Fourth Amendment exclusionary rule binding on...

Get Your FREE Trial Issue and Win a Gift! Subscribe Today!
Yes! Please rush me my FREE TRIAL ISSUE of POLICE magazine and FREE Officer Survival Guide with tips and tactics to help me safely get out of 10 different situations.

Just fill in the form to the right and click the button to receive your FREE Trial Issue.

If POLICE does not satisfy you, just write "cancel" on the invoice and send it back. You'll pay nothing, and the FREE issue is yours to keep. If you enjoy POLICE, pay only $25 for a full one-year subscription (12 issues in all). Enjoy a savings of nearly 60% off the cover price!

Offer valid in US only. Outside U.S., click here.
It's easy! Just fill in the form below and click the red button to receive your FREE Trial Issue.
First Name:
Last Name:
Rank:
Agency:
Address:
City:
State:
  
Zip Code:
 
Country:
We respect your privacy. Please let us know if the address provided is your home, as your RANK / AGENCY will not be included on the mailing label.
E-mail Address:

Police Magazine