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Come with us on a FUNTASTIC Cruise!!!

6/15/2009 4:23 PM
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 77

Come with us on a FUNTASTIC Cruise!!!


THE ULTIMATE ADVENTURE CRUISE

Aqua Pig International is excited to offer the ultimate adventure cruise along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia !We board our luxury cruise ship in Djibouti on the Gulf of Aden near the entrance to the Red Sea, and disembark in Mombassa , Kenya seven adrenaline-charged days later.

Starting at $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room) and $6,900 (veranda complete with bench rest), you'll relax like never before.

That's because you are welcome to bring your own arsenal with you. If you don't have your own weapons, you can rent them from our onboard Master Gunsmith. Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon with skeet and marksmanship competitions every night!But the best fun of all, of course, is Pirate Target Practice. For the object of the cruise is to sail up and down the Somali Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates. The weapons rental costs are as follows:

Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day with ammo attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armor-piercing.

On a budget?

Rent a full-auto scope-mounted AK-47 for only $9/day with 7.62 ball ammo at $12 per 100 rounds.

Hello!?

Nothing gets a pirate's attention like a Barrett M-107 50-cal sniper rifle; only $59/day with 25 rounds of armor-piercing ammo affordably priced at only $29.95.

Need a spotter?

Our professional crew members can double as spotters for only $30/hour (spotting scope included, but gratuities are not.)

Want to make a real impact?

Rent an RPG for only $175/day with three fragmentation rounds included!

Also included: Free complimentary night vision equipment - and throughout the night, coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the main deck from 7pm until 6am.

Our deluxe package comes complete with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar.

But that's not all!

Twin mounted miniguns are available for rental at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire!

We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or you'll receive an instant $1,000 refund upon arrival in Mombassa.

How can we make that guarantee?

We operate at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the coast of Somalia , thus in international waters where pirates have no rights whatever. In fact, we make three passes through the area's most treacherous waters to ensure maximum visibility by Somali "mother ships". We repeat this for five days, making three complete passes past the entire Somali Coast . At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every five minutes with loud disco music directionally beamed shoreside to attract maximum attention.

Testimonials from previous participants in the Somali Cruise:

"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two, and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun. This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family" -- Fred D., Cincinnati, OH

"Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!" -- Ben L., Bethesda, MD

"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in ' Nam . Don't worry about getting shot by pirates... they never even got close to the ship with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim... reminds me of a drunken juicer door-gunner we picked up from the motor pool in Phu Bai!" -- Dan J. - Denver, CO

Bang - Bang - Bang - Kerplunk - Kerplunk - Kerplunk. I laughed all the way back to the friggin Sauna! -- Rich B - Charlevoix, MI

Come on board and bag your own clutch of genuine Somali pirates! But cabin space is limited so you need to respond quickly.

Reserve your package before May 31st and get a great bonus - 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice!!!!!!

So sign up for the Ultimate Somali Coast Adventure Cruise now!

Sponsored by : To The Point - Your Adventure Specialists!!!

Tell us YOUR Testimonials here on this thread!!!!

Aqua Pig International FUN Cruises LLC


REPLY 1  -  5  of  5
6/15/2009 10:01 PM #1
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 212

RE: Come with us on a FUNTASTIC Cruise!!!


Ohhhh, if I only had the money! Hey, need any crew members?

6/16/2009 3:57 AM #2
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 216

Lady for hire


Aqua Pig...

I would just love it, but I'd rather join the Navy being flat broke...lol. I would be honored to shoot whatever is on deck and with which ever Navy professional is around. I am sure we would just get along just fine. :-) Not a picky girl...lol. But I do have sniper rifle preferences. And just for shits and giggles the RPG would be fun.

Somalian pirates are a bunch of gang members making it hard for the nice Somalians to have a life. The nice Somalians here in the States wanna go back home. Can we help them?

Neat ad bro....

"Is your number still 911?" - Ofc. Rachel T.

6/30/2009 5:47 PM #3
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 15

Cruise


Aqua PIg,

I'll cancel our RCCL cruise to join you on this fun-filled trip! Which travel agent do I contact to book it? LOL!

7/9/2009 8:38 PM #4
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 77

Another Satisfied Joe


DISCLOSURE OF LIMITED LIABILTY:

Aqua Pig International Cruises LLC is not responsible for the Political Incorrectness of our Guest Commentary.  We let them tell you in their own words..UNEDITED....

And isn't that AMERICAN WAY  !!!  At least the America most of us grew up in!

 

Im an 85 year old Korean Veteran with blatter control problems. Life was one dissapointment after another. Then I heard about the Aqua Pig Somalia Cruise.  I joined up.  I have never had so much crapping fun.  This trip was more fun than when me and Sgt Cobb shot the tires off of that North Korean Honey Wagon !  The damn thing tipped over and shi* flew everywhere !  He, he.....they were cleanin themselves off for days!!!

Man, this cruise...Damn, all these new fancy weapons.  Wish I carried half this shi* when I hit Inchon.

Hell, I've been on Detrol LA for the bladder, but that only lasts for a couple of hours.  I decided to strap on The Molicare Super Plus adult diaper so I could sit and shoot all day long with out leaving the Damn Deck! 

I'm coming back next year to blast some more gooks!  Yea Haw!!!!      

Lt Phil (Ripper) Blandinski US ARMY (ret)

Unedited....Unedited.....did we say unedited???

Last edited @ 7/9/2009 8:40 PM

8/9/2009 8:07 AM #5
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 43

Re: Come with us on a FUNTASTIC Cruise!!!


i would just attache explosive devices (with some fireworks embedded inthere) to the pirate ships and swim away...get back on to another boat with a beer and make a cell phone call.

do this at night. sing the U.S. national anthem and enjoy the show. navy SEALS have all the fun...lol.

as far as north korea - can't u just send over a nuke bomb and make some lame ass excuse that they were trying to make theirs and had a nasty "accident"?

save us all the headache...then maybe iran would think twoce about nukes...lol.

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