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A LITTLE LIGHT HUMOUR!! WHAT CANADIAN LEO'S HAVE TO CONSIDER

2/16/2008 1:02 AM
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 5

A LITTLE LIGHT HUMOUR!! WHAT CANADIAN LEO'S HAVE TO CONSIDER

Question:

How do you tell the difference between a Canadian Police Officer,an Australian Police Officer, and an American Police Officer?

Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two smallchildren. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes aroundthe corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

CANADIAN POLICE OFFICERS

Answer: (Immediate thought processes)

Is the knife a ceremonial kirpan?

Does he prefer to communicate in English or French?

Will this negatively impact my chances of promotion?

Is this just his way of telling me that he pays my wages, and wants my job?

Would this be an appropriate time to hug him and sing Koombaya?

Will the media do a profile of him and how he was loved by everyone

including his dog?

Is the alleged "client" a member of the NDP or an Environmental Group?

Is he just a squee gee kid / pan handler trying to make a living on the meanstreets?

Is he a member of a gang that is just "misunderstood" by society?

Is he a recent illegal immigrant to this country, and just doesn't know howto approach the police?

Is he recently released on parole and hasn't been properly integrated back into the community?

Is he a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome, and just doesn't understand what he is doing

Is he a member of the Muslim community or other visible minority group?

Warn and Charter him as he approaches.

AUSTRALIAN OFFICERS

Answer: BANG! AMERICAN OFFICERS

Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! Click....(Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.

REPLY 1  -  8  of  8
2/20/2008 6:16 AM #1
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 125

RE: A LITTLE LIGHT HUMOUR!! WHAT CANADIAN LEO'S HAVE TO CONSIDER

Yes, we here in America, we're so "Rambo." People shoot each other over misunderstandings and wrong looks. Store employees pounce on innocent shoppers who linger in stores too long, and accuse them of shoplifting.

2/20/2008 6:53 PM #2
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 379

RE: A LITTLE LIGHT HUMOUR!! WHAT CANADIAN LEO'S HAVE TO CONSIDER

Actually, he is wrong about the American officers. After all those bangs, there will be two comments. First is "Damn, I pulled one shot low right" and second will be the yelled "Stop or I'll shoot."
8/28/2008 3:06 PM #3
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 6

RE: A LITTLE LIGHT HUMOUR!! WHAT CANADIAN LEO'S HAVE TO CONSIDER

Don't forget to yell... "It's coming right for us"
8/29/2008 3:47 PM #4
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 213

RE: A LITTLE LIGHT HUMOUR!! WHAT CANADIAN LEO'S HAVE TO CONSIDER

Heheh, only Hag would consider someone leaping at her with a knife to be a 'misunderstanding and wrong look' <LOL>.

9/8/2008 8:15 PM #5
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 125

RE: A LITTLE LIGHT HUMOUR!! WHAT CANADIAN LEO'S HAVE TO CONSIDER

Might as well reply

um...you can be arrested for carrying a weapon when you have something like a fake samurai sword in your hand.

I was and then I listened to the police whine about this terrible attack against them in court. Note sarcasm. They think they should have shot me. Nothing but carrying the thing around in my hand.

9/9/2008 10:34 PM #6
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 213

RE: A LITTLE LIGHT HUMOUR!! WHAT CANADIAN LEO'S HAVE TO CONSIDER

If they had thought they should have shot you they would have. The fact they didn't showed they beleived they could take you into custody without using lethal force. The evidence? The fact that you're still alive. Carrying a sword around in your hand is the same as carrying a gun in your hand. It's called 'brandishing a weapon'. Don't wanna get arrested? Don't brandish.

Might behoove you to check on the local ordinances towards carrying swords in public.
12/8/2008 5:12 PM #7
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 33

Humour at its best

Oh I like this! Yes, we Americans would enjoy unloading all of our ammo. There is nothing more satisfying than asking the Captain for fresh ammo because you took out the poor bastard with the knife with all shots accounted for hitting center mass! And the next thing you'd want to ask ~ "Do I get a ribbon for that Sir?"
12/31/2008 6:29 PM #8
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 3

A LITTLE LIGHT HUMOUR!! WHAT CANADIAN LEO'S HAVE TO CONSIDER

Quote:
Original post by PSDiver_Tom

Question:

How do you tell the difference between a Canadian Police Officer,an Australian Police Officer, and an American Police Officer?

Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two smallchildren. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes aroundthe corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

CANADIAN POLICE OFFICERS

Answer: (Immediate thought processes)

Is the knife a ceremonial kirpan?

Does he prefer to communicate in English or French?

Will this negatively impact my chances of promotion?

Is this just his way of telling me that he pays my wages, and wants my job?

Would this be an appropriate time to hug him and sing Koombaya?

Will the media do a profile of him and how he was loved by everyone

including his dog?

Is the alleged "client" a member of the NDP or an Environmental Group?

Is he just a squee gee kid / pan handler trying to make a living on the meanstreets?

Is he a member of a gang that is just "misunderstood" by society?

Is he a recent illegal immigrant to this country, and just doesn't know howto approach the police?

Is he recently released on parole and hasn't been properly integrated back into the community?

Is he a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome, and just doesn't understand what he is doing

Is he a member of the Muslim community or other visible minority group?

Warn and Charter him as he approaches.

AUSTRALIAN OFFICERS

Answer: BANG! AMERICAN OFFICERS

Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! Click....(Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.

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